9 things I’d like to tell high school graduates

Since no one has invited me to speak at their high school graduation (yes, Ohio and Wisconsin, I’m looking at you – there’s still time!), I figured I would take it upon myself to let high school graduates know what I think.

Personally, I’m pretty sure this is the safest way to do things, since sometimes, not even _I_ know what will come out of my mouth.

Soup beans and cornbread

  Last Sunday was soup beans and cornbread night in our house. It was 60s out in May in the South, so it was soup weather. And what good is soup without cornbread, right? There was a time when I wasn’t exactly proud of telling anyone that we regularly ate soup beans. I mean it…

Castle for sale, right down the street

So, the castle down the street from my childhood home is for sale. No, I don’t mean a really nice house. I mean a castle. Let me explain, it’s a real castle. We’re talking about a huge multi-turreted-building-in-the-middle-with-a-courtyard-between-it-and-four-fortress-walls castle. This palatial estate on more than 252 acres in the middle of horse country in Central…

Bless me, Leah, for I have sinned

I have the coolest miracle worker in the world. And by miracle worker, I mean hairdresser. No, stylist. No. High priestess of hair. Leah, my miracle worker, is the religious equivalent of nirvana in black leggings. Irreverent, ballsy, out-spoken and always smiling, she is the confidante of my inner wildest fantasies – purple hair. She…

Mommy Snearest

There are days when I find myself trying to measure up to the idea of the perfect mom. You know the ones… they’re online – on Twitter and on Facebook – always talking about their perfect lives and their perfect families and their perfect days at home, working around the house. They’re the ones that…

Riding in cars with mom

The other day I came home to see my 15-year-old, Mason, in the passenger seat of a car driven by his newly drivers’ licensed friend. They just were pulling out of our driveway as I drove up. While my heart sank, Mason looked at me from the window and waved. I really could only think…

Monster jobs, ripe for the picking

Every time I get depressed about my job, I go to my email inbox. It almost always reminds me, life could be worse. Friday, when I was contemplating how busy I was compared to my friends who were traveling across the country, I got an email from Monster.com. According to them, I am uniquely qualified…