An accidental pussy grabber

So, I was on my way to a meeting the other day, when I inadvertently kidnapped a neighbors’ cat. Really… it wasn’t my fault. See, we have this big black cat named Oliver. And Oliver has gotten it into his head lately that he should be able to roam about his domain, namely everything he can…

If you say you’re going to do something, do it

If it’s true that “what you do on the first of the year is what you’re going to do for the rest of the year,” I think I may be in trouble. So far today, January 1, I’ve managed to clean, nap, cook and walk into another room four times, forgetting what I was there…

Car repair for girls

There’s nothing more frustrating than being a girl and trying to fix your car. This past month, my 2007 Jeep Commander had a bumper that needed to be fixed… and by fixed I mean, reattached to the rest of the car with anything that does not resemble Duct Tape. In complete girl logic, I just assumed…

A mother’s curse

When I was 12 years old, my mother cursed me. And I don’t mean she yelled profanities at me, I mean, she put a curse on me through my future progeny. I remember the day clearly. I was home watching ZOOM! in the living room. Remember ZOOM on PBS? It was an after-school show where…

Garden hose

It’s time to get the garden in, so naturally I made a beeline for my underwear drawer. It’s the same every year. Well, okay, not every year. There were those three or four years when the kids were younger and we lived on the river. A general disregard by my kids for anything that could…

Veggie Time

I’m sorry, I have to say it. I really dislike some vegetarians. I don’t dislike the fact that they are vegetarians – heck, I think everyone has the right to decide what they want to eat. And honestly, if someone would rather eat spinach, cannellini beans and quinoa instead of bacon double cheeseburger, that’s none…

White Girl Chic… at 40+

The other day my son told me I looked like a “white girl.” I’m sure he meant that as a compliment. There I was in my oversized sweatshirt, leggings and Uggs, and my son was stunned. “Yeah, you look really fresh,” he said. “You look like a white girl.” The thing is, this is not…

Eight ways you know the holiday honeymoon is over

I’m pretty sure I am all Christmas’d out. Seriously. As I sit here on my couch on a rainy 60 degree Sunday, some of my friends are celebrating their fourth and fifth family holiday today. Heck, some of them have had more than eight holiday celebrations in the course of the last month. Don’t get…

Yes, Bob, they know it’s Christmas

If Bob really wanted to help (those in West Africa suffering from Ebola), why didn’t he ask his friends, the millionaires who are singing, to donate a little cashola to be a part of the song, instead of letting them donate their “time.”

I’m ready for Christmas

It’s been a rough week. My hip hurts. And even though the doctors say it’s arthritis, I’m way too young to hear that come out of any professional’s mouth. One of my cats died Sunday morning. But he was 417 years old, so it was time. My house is not the kind of clean I…

Bathing the cat

This afternoon, I came home and gave my cat a bath. Sounds like fun, I know, but it wasn’t as bad as you think. It was, in a way, a release. Stitch is one of three cats in our house, and he is by far the oldest. At 13-years-old, which is roughly equivalent to 417…

Dear women’s magazines, I give up

Okay, women’s magazines, you win.  I give up. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to stop reading you, I’m just not going to succumb to your particular brand of torture anymore. I’ve read women’s magazines since I was a little girl. I drooled over recipes and wondered what it would be like, as a…