An accidental pussy grabber

So, I was on my way to a meeting the other day, when I inadvertently kidnapped a neighbors’ cat. Really… it wasn’t my fault. See, we have this big black cat named Oliver. And Oliver has gotten it into his head lately that he should be able to roam about his domain, namely everything he can…

No, really, call me nasty

A lot of words have been hurled at angry women voters lately. My particular favorite is “Nasty Bitch.” In the words of Inigio Montoya…”You keep using those words. I do not think they mean what you think they mean.” I was in a meeting a few weeks ago with a woman who was discussing complaining…

10 Things I Learned About the Old West from Gunsmoke

For the last few months, I’ve been watching a lot of Gunsmoke. It’s on in the afternoons, and as things begin to wind down, I find myself relaxing in the company of Marshall Matt Dillon, Miss Kitty and Festus. Secretly, Festus is my favorite. But, I’ve learned a lot of things I didn’t know about…

One holiday at a time, please

It’s Halloween night; so naturally, I find I’m a little sick of Christmas commercials. Not even lying. This weekend, in the midst of a marathon horror movie session, I got just a bit tired of watching Best Buy’s Christmas commercials. Apparently, nothing says Christmas like going into debt to buy another meaningless gadget. Unless it’s…

Horror movie quandries

I’ve never really understood a few things about horror movies. Really. I mean, why is it that there is always a stupid girl who tries to run away and then falls? Obviously, it’s because they’re wearing heels while running, but who goes into the woods wearing high-heeled shoes? Not a smart girl. We don’t go…

Not so “Gaga” over the Golden Globes

Yesterday, my topic of choice for my blog was my family’s unnatural obsession with hoodies. But then the Golden Globes happened. Or rather, Gaga happened. It’s no coincidence that Gaga sounds a lot like “caca” in my mind. Really. As I normally do when I wake up on a Monday morning and don’t want to…

So Bruce wants to be Caitlyn… So what?

This morning, like practically everyone else on the planet, I awoke to the news that Bruce Jenner now wanted to be called Caitlyn and was gorgeous. The only thing I could think to myself was … So? I remember Bruce Jenner as the athlete of my youth. And I vaguely connected him to the Kardashians…