An accidental pussy grabber

So, I was on my way to a meeting the other day, when I inadvertently kidnapped a neighbors’ cat. Really… it wasn’t my fault. See, we have this big black cat named Oliver. And Oliver has gotten it into his head lately that he should be able to roam about his domain, namely everything he can…

How are we supposed to take Curvy Barbie?

This weekend, I watched a story on the new Barbies. Apparently, you can now get Barbie in sizes other than “bone thin and completely unrealistic.” According to Mattel, Barbie will now come in four different sizes, seven different skin colors, 20+ different eye and hair colors and, presumably, an inordinately large number of coordinating outfits and…

Horror movie quandries

I’ve never really understood a few things about horror movies. Really. I mean, why is it that there is always a stupid girl who tries to run away and then falls? Obviously, it’s because they’re wearing heels while running, but who goes into the woods wearing high-heeled shoes? Not a smart girl. We don’t go…

Not so “Gaga” over the Golden Globes

Yesterday, my topic of choice for my blog was my family’s unnatural obsession with hoodies. But then the Golden Globes happened. Or rather, Gaga happened. It’s no coincidence that Gaga sounds a lot like “caca” in my mind. Really. As I normally do when I wake up on a Monday morning and don’t want to…

If you say you’re going to do something, do it

If it’s true that “what you do on the first of the year is what you’re going to do for the rest of the year,” I think I may be in trouble. So far today, January 1, I’ve managed to clean, nap, cook and walk into another room four times, forgetting what I was there…

A mother’s curse

When I was 12 years old, my mother cursed me. And I don’t mean she yelled profanities at me, I mean, she put a curse on me through my future progeny. I remember the day clearly. I was home watching ZOOM! in the living room. Remember ZOOM on PBS? It was an after-school show where…

Garden hose

It’s time to get the garden in, so naturally I made a beeline for my underwear drawer. It’s the same every year. Well, okay, not every year. There were those three or four years when the kids were younger and we lived on the river. A general disregard by my kids for anything that could…

Why the Easter Bunny still visits our house

Even though my sons are 16 and 15, the Easter bunny still visits my house. Granted, the baskets aren’t as elaborate as they once were, but they are still full of chocolate bunnies, jellybeans and the occasional Peep. This year, there was none of the plastic grass that clings to every living thing in the house, and…

White Girl Chic… at 40+

The other day my son told me I looked like a “white girl.” I’m sure he meant that as a compliment. There I was in my oversized sweatshirt, leggings and Uggs, and my son was stunned. “Yeah, you look really fresh,” he said. “You look like a white girl.” The thing is, this is not…

23 things only a child of the 70s will know

I was talking to a friend the other day when we got into a discussion of Star Wars. All he knew was the remake. For him, Greedo shot first and Han was just defending himself. WRONG!!!! The conversation reminded me that cultural differences can span just a few years. The first time I realized this was…

8 life hacks every teen MUST know

Everyone knows that there are secret life hacks that can make their lives easier. As parents, we know all the little tips and tricks learned over years of housework. There are just some things that make life all the much more livable. But, spend few minutes living with any teen and you’ll realize, if it…

Tasting memories

Since Friday, I’ve been thinking about the premiere of Downton Abbey. As Masterpiece Theater classic television goes, it is the best of high period drama. It is also one of my guilty indulgences. When I watch it, I sometimes think of what it would be like to be Elizabeth McGovern’s character and live out my days…