Horror movie quandries

I’ve never really understood a few things about horror movies. Really. I mean, why is it that there is always a stupid girl who tries to run away and then falls? Obviously, it’s because they’re wearing heels while running, but who goes into the woods wearing high-heeled shoes? Not a smart girl. We don’t go…

Not so “Gaga” over the Golden Globes

Yesterday, my topic of choice for my blog was my family’s unnatural obsession with hoodies. But then the Golden Globes happened. Or rather, Gaga happened. It’s no coincidence that Gaga sounds a lot like “caca” in my mind. Really. As I normally do when I wake up on a Monday morning and don’t want to…

Working on myself

Every year starts out the same. I get this burr in my bonnet to be better or learn something or find some new thing to master. One year, it was brewing beer. Of course, once I had done it and realized I wasn’t going to be immediately able to play with ingredients like I do…

If you say you’re going to do something, do it

If it’s true that “what you do on the first of the year is what you’re going to do for the rest of the year,” I think I may be in trouble. So far today, January 1, I’ve managed to clean, nap, cook and walk into another room four times, forgetting what I was there…

Scream Queen – My Halloween Advent Calendar

I’ll admit it, I’m not like most girls. Wanna take me to a movie? Make sure it has some good car chases and things that blow up. Wanna curl up on the couch with me and watch some Netflix? Better tune into the thriller/suspense/psychologically-messes-with-you-from-the-first-scene section. Wanna make me swoon? Bring over a zip drive loaded…

Pancakes for lunch, anyone?

For the first time since he was in fourth grade, I’m making lunches for my youngest son. Did I mention he’s a sophomore now? Yeah. He’s 16. And I pack him a lunch every morning. Because he’s 16, I cannot make all those cute little things that other mommies try to make you feel guilty…

Summer time and my toes are freezing

How is it that it’s 487 degrees out there and I’m wearing socks and covered up in a sweatshirt? Seriously, how is this even possible? Last night, when it cooled down to 87 degrees, I went out on the porch to read. Within minutes I was drenched. I stayed out there though and read some…

So Bruce wants to be Caitlyn… So what?

This morning, like practically everyone else on the planet, I awoke to the news that Bruce Jenner now wanted to be called Caitlyn and was gorgeous. The only thing I could think to myself was … So? I remember Bruce Jenner as the athlete of my youth. And I vaguely connected him to the Kardashians…

Car repair for girls

There’s nothing more frustrating than being a girl and trying to fix your car. This past month, my 2007 Jeep Commander had a bumper that needed to be fixed… and by fixed I mean, reattached to the rest of the car with anything that does not resemble Duct Tape. In complete girl logic, I just assumed…

A mother’s curse

When I was 12 years old, my mother cursed me. And I don’t mean she yelled profanities at me, I mean, she put a curse on me through my future progeny. I remember the day clearly. I was home watching ZOOM! in the living room. Remember ZOOM on PBS? It was an after-school show where…